The queens return from the main stage to the werkroom in their chaps. Lady Camden is feeling on top of the world and Daya Betty is relit after placing in the top two. Jasmine Kennedie is now out as trans after her revelation last week (it will be news to her dad) and is getting a lot of support from her sisters.
In the grand tradition of “Paris is Burning,” Ru announces that, for the mini-challenge, the library is open because… reading is what? Fundamental! Jorgeous reads Jasmine as proof that white do crack and Willow Pill tells Serena ChaCha (Jorgeous) that we know she’s skinny and needs to eat, but unfortunately Orion’s ass is not on the food pyramid!
Lady Camden scores with telling Willow that she has the tiniest little waist…of time; Kerri has the face of a superstar…for podcasting; and while Camden is a Lady, Willow is a Little Dame… Hunchback of Notre Dame. “Quasimodo she better do!”
In the end, Bosco has two savage reads: to Jasmine, “You are one brain-dead slut. You put the ‘bottom’ in lobotomy”; and to all the queens, “RuPaul’s will says she wants to be buried on the catwalk and you’ll all be pallbearers. That way you can let her down on the runway one last time.” She wins the mini-challenge.
For the maxi-challenge, the Drag Race time machine takes us back to 1964 and the era of iconic girl groups. The queens divide themselves into three teams: the Shang-Ru-las, performing “Bad Boy Baby”; the Ru-nettes, “He’s my Baby”; and the Ru-premes, “My Baby is Love.” There’s a whole lot of hooting and hollering as the queens hold firm on their group choices and squeak and squawk their way through singing and choreo rehearsals. The big news is that Willow is quite the choreo queen, to the surprise of all.
On the main stage, extra special guest judge Alec Mapa tells us his favorite thing from the 60s that’s still swinging… his balls. And with that, we tune into a magic black and white tv to watch the girls perform on stage all at the same time.
The Shang-Ru-las—Daya, Willow and Bosco— sing about Johnny, the “Bad Boy Baby” who’s a hot stalker and is eventually hit by a bus and looks like a big bowl of spaghetti. (Very that.) Daya, Willow and Bosco all do well, Johnny not so much. The Ru-nettes consist of Jasmine, DeJa Skye and Jorgeous. Jasmine is not a good singer and Jorgeous is worse, but Jorgeous manages to talk-sing her way clear. Finally, we hear from the Ru-premes. Angeria Paris VanMichaels nails Diana Ross, to the detriment of our other Ru-premes, Lady Camden and Kerri Colby, who don’t shine.
On the runway, the theme is Heart On. Willow serves a multi-thonged Borat look (but as Ru notes, “Two thongs don’t make a right”); Daya goes cyber-punk; Bosco is a bare-assed vampire with a bloody heart (“Why aorta…”); DeJa is an anime superhero, wearing her heart on her shoulder; Jorgeous wows in sexy red lingerie; Jasmine serves some Aphrodite; Angeria is a black and white Barbie in a Sia-like bowl cut wig; Kerri is a blood circulatory system in red netting; and Lady Camden is Cupid shot through with arrows.
The judges confer and critique, with Ru declaring Willow, Bosco, Jorgeous, DeJa, Angeria and Lady Camden safe. The winner is Daya Betty, finally getting that elusive victory she noisily craved. In the bottom are Kerri Colby (“Your performance was not a dream, girl”) and Jasmine Kennedie (“Your performance lacked spice, girl”). Only last week they were bonded in trans sisterhood and now must heartbreakingly compete against each other.
The two perform to “Unbreak my Heart” by Toni Braxton. Despite a fairly messy performance by Jasmine (she kicks a shoe off, her wig is slipping and her nipples are making an appearance), it’s good enough to knock off Kerri, who really was undone by a visible pantyhose waist band. (Some things are just beyond the pale!) And so Ru tells Miss Alexis Colby Carrington Dexter Morrell to sashay away. “Long may your Dynasty reign,” says Ru. The trantasy fantasy is over for Kerri.
So who’s up and who’s down? Willow and Angeria are looking strong; Bosco and Lady Camden are real threats; and Daya’s suddenly peaking. But mi corazón belongs to Jorgeous! See you next week.