Today’s recap will be informational at the start, fairly dull in the middle and EXPLOSIVE at the end! A queen has been gagged, gooped, stunned, betrayed and had her fantasy ruined. I’m talking about me, of course!
LaLa Ri enters the werkroom fresh off last week’s victory. “I’m rich!” she exclaims. “I can take my mama out to lunch!” She saved Alexis Michelle and sent home her sister Kahanna Montrese. Alexis knows this was not an easy decision but LaLa is confident it was the right decision. (Foreshadowing alert #1.) The queens would have voted her off anyway. Jimbo enjoyed seeing Kahanna walk away so he could watch her “beautiful juicy booty.” A queen after my own heart.
It’s a new day and Jimbo tosses baloney around the werkroom because. (I’ve heard the queens are not fed very well!) Ru announces that this week’s maxi challenge is to create an original outfit from scratch using the “drag droppings” of previous All Stars winners, transforming them into their own signature looks. The Pit Crew enters with trunks bearing the names of those winners and LaLa assigns the trunks to the queens.
LaLa selects Shea Couleé for herself; Kylie Sonique Love for Jessica Wild; Trixie Mattel for Jimbo; Monét X Change for Kandy Muse; and Trinity the Tuck for Alexis. Everyone is happy with their assignment and the trunks are filled with top-shelf materials for creating a stunning look.
Previous Drag Race queens Raven and Shannel drop in to offer advice and tips. Most of the episode consists of the queens cutting, sewing, hot glue-gunning and worrying themselves silly. On Elimination Day, we learn that LaLa had to sew three gowns overnight because the first two didn’t work. Kandy went through nine transformations to create her basic black dress. (Foreshadowing #2.)
Jimbo is very edgy, seemingly out of time to finish his face-kini lewk. She knows she has a huge target on her back and anyone will send her home if she’s in the bottom. Kandy has anxiety about the voting and wonders who might be holding a grudge. (Five-, six- and seven-shadowing!)
On the runway, Mama Ru is serving pink punk glamazon. The guest judge is rocker Brandon Boyd of Incubus. First up, Kandy is all in black, “an oil spill walking down the runway with a sponge.” Jimbo is wearing a face-kini with pearl eyes and a pearl smile (not unrelated to a pearl necklace). LaLa is serving vitamin C in a tangerine gown. Alexis is perfection in a blue “Hello, Dolly” gown and Jessica slithers in snakeskin with a waterfall of rhinestones.
The judges clock Kandy on simplicity, fit and length of gown. Brandon Boyd asks Jimbo if her eyes are prescription pearls. Ross Mathews notes that nobody else is making this look and he doesn’t know if Jimbo should have! Classic Jimbo. LaLa explains that she ran out of fabric after sewing three gowns, which explains her one sleeve gown. Alexis gets raves and Michelle Visage declares the “Yassification of Yessica.”
Alexis is declared the winner, her first of the season. Jimbo and Jessica are safe, leaving Kandy and LaLa in the bottom. Alexis lip syncs against assassin Nicky Doll to “These Boots Were Made for Walkin’” by Nancy Sinatra and takes the win.
Ok, let’s review: Alexis has the power to send LaLa or Kandy home. Alexis has a simmering rivalry with Kandy, who made her cry last week after selfishly taking a role she wanted. LaLa SAVED Alexis last week, sadly sending home the lovely Kahanna, and Alexis promising she won’t forget this. And LaLa and Alexis had a steamy early season crush going on. Guess what? Alexis forgot and sent home LaLa. This decision caused me to blow a gasket. LaLa, although outwardly radiant, was like, “Biiiiiiiiitch! I really wish I’d have sent her ass home when I had the chance to.” You and me both, LaLa! I only wish you’d have walked up to her face and said “WTF?” But Alexis is toast—burnt! LaLa will always be legendary.
So we’re down to the final four: Jimbo, Jessica, Kandy and Alexis. Who will eliminate whom next week? Come back here and find out! We’re almost at the finals!
Read Dante’s previous recaps [here] and follow him on Instagram: @dantenoto