Jimbo and Kandy Muse are on cloud nine as the top two queens this season. “OMG you saved me,” exclaims Jimbo to Kandy. They had a pact to make it together to the end and it held up where other alliances failed. After some buffoonery, wig pulling and friendly trash talk, it’s evident: the alliance is ovah! Kandy’s ready to go head to head and tit to tit for the crown.
Ru enters the werkroom and says we’ve never had a top two heading to the finale. It feels a bit lonely, though, so Ru has invited back the nine eliminated queens (minus self-eliminated Heidi N Closet). It’s definitely time for some reading so the library is open! Shhh!
LaLa Ri tells Jessica Wild she could make another dress from the bags under her eyes. LaLa also proclaims Alexis Michelle a “triple threat”: she has gonorrhea in her mouth, ass and dick. Jaymes Mansfield tells Mrs. Kasha Davis that she has the only drag queen story hour that children would protest. Jimbo says to Kahanna Montrese that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and what happens in Kahanna dribbles down her legs after. Kasha wins the mini challenge.
Today (Friday July 14), fan voting for the Fame Games opens through Sunday. The eliminated queens have displayed their unaired runway looks online and on Untucked. For the maxi challenge, each will display a talent in the Fame Game Variety Extravaganza. Ru will choose the top two, who will then lip sync for a chance to increase their fan votes by 2x, 3x or 5x. So the queens wheel back their luggage to the werkroom for a shot at a $60,000 prize.
On the main stage, the hilarious Ross Mathews, who “bottomed his way to the top,” joins fellow judges Ru, Michelle Visage and guest judge Ego Nwodim (I would suggest that John Travolta never introduce her). Co-hosts Kandy and Jimbo (or is it Jamby and Kimbo?) get the variety show started.
Monica Beverly Hillz opened with a sultry original song under the streetlights. Naysha Lopez put the flame in flamenco. ¡Magnifica! Mrs. Kasha Davis burned down the house with her social justice rap. Darienne Lake had an inspirational message for plus-sized folks: bumblebees are too fat for their tiny wings to fly but they defy gravity! Bee-lieve! Jaymes performs a comical, frisky homage to his titties.
Kahanna, once a cheerleader, slays with a back flip and a sexy, fun routine. (Ru inadvertently refers to it as a “black flip” later, which she instantly monetizes!) LaLa gives the full LaLa Ri club experience and it’s everything. Alexis shows off her musical theater chops with a live original song (a la Gypsy) dressed as an apple. (Michelle: “She has a strong core.”) Finally, Jessica’s pussy is on fuego in a super high-energy performance of her track “You Like It Wild.” ¡Si si! Now si si that walk!
We are then treated to command performances by Jimbo and Kandy to Mama Ru. Jimbo makes a banana split. The ice cream is in her fridge/wig; the banana comes from her backside; the sprinkles are in her bra top; the whipped cream squirts from her titties; and the cherry comes out of her…frontside. As with all things Jimbo, it’s next-level clownery. Kandy wants to be your muse in a pink song-and-dance number, but NEVER follow Jimbo!
The judges are very kind in their critiques. Everyone is a star! And I agree. I appreciated that Ru concurred with Kasha that kindness is at the top of her list of virtues. Second is a big fat ass. Merch alert!
After the judges/squirrel friends have had their deliberations, Ru announces that the top two queens are Jaymes Mansfield and LaLa Ri. They lip sync to “Rain on Me” by Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande. It’s a tie. Pit Crew hunk Bruno rolls out the spinning wheel, with Jaymes scoring a 2x vote booster and 3x for LaLa. (Tea: I have never trusted any Drag Race spinning wheels! You never see them go all the way around.)
If you want to vote for Queen of the Fame Games, go to https://queenofthefamegames.votenow.tv. You get up to ten votes to distribute as you please. I spread mine around (ahem) but had I only one vote, I would choose first-eliminated Monica Beverly Hillz. She’s a quiet beauty, not cut out for the hurly-burly of current Ru drag but wonderful in her way. But many deserve the prize, so vote today! Erections matter!
So that’s it for this penultimate episode. Next week we crown a winner, baby! My prediction: Jimbo for the win. Everyone likes Jimbo. Kandy has had a great season but ran into too formidable a contender. I’m still gooped that she didn’t eliminate Jimbo last week when she had the chance. Props to all the All Stars 8 queens! You’re all winners!
Tomorrow night I’m off to the Werq the World tour at The Show in Rancho Mirage. Can’t wait to see many of my faves in person. I’ll give a quick recap next week. Bye!
Read Dante’s previous recaps [here] and follow him on Instagram: @dantenoto