Yeehaw! The Dolly’s all return to the werkroom after their “Night of 1000 Dolly Partons” runway. Yvie Oddly sings her own version of “9 to 5” titled “0 to 2,” the number of stars she picked up last week. She expects to be in the “blocked club” now. I Will Always Love You, Yvie!
Jinkx Monsoon rumbles in with the it’s-gold-not-platinum plunger. She’s miffed that Vivienne blocked her, but Viv has a simple calculation: two stars + strong competition = stay out of my way! I hope they put this in Texas math schoolbooks! Jinkx has some numbers of her own: 1st queen to win 3 challenges, 1st to get 2 stars, and 1st to be blocked twice. So future blocks should really be taken as a compliment because it means you’re slaying. Remember this the next time an ex blocks you!
It’s a new day and the queens await Ru and this week’s challenge. The maxi challenge will be to create a signature Legendary Legend look inspired by one of Ru’s classic looks. A design challenge has the effect of wasting Viv’s block of Jinkx because everyone knows Jinkx can’t sew. Viv/Karen wants to talk to her manager!
Ru shares that ALL of his dresses since season 1 were created by fashion designer Zaldy. The queens will choose from one of Ru’s eight most iconic looks. Viv goes first and chooses The Despy Awards, followed by Trinity the Tuck (Season 8 Promo), Monét X Change (Facekini), Shea Couleé (Season 5 Sugar Ball), Jaida Essence Hall (VH1 Divas 2000: Tribute to Diana Ross), Yvie Oddly (Supermodel of the World), Jinkx (Drag Race Down Under Promo), and Raja (Born Naked Promo). What Ru is looking for is inspiration, not copying.
The episode is a master class in sewing and execution. Trinity is a very talented and speedy seamstress, causing Raja to consider sabotage. Trinity says, “Now I have to top myself. I’ve never done that!” Jinkx hopes to redeem her bad design rep through her belief in “witchcraft, hot glue and gumption.” Or I might say Wicca, sticka, and a whole lot of likka!
Ru stops by to check on the queens’ progress. He tells Yvie that he did Supermodel of the World in 1992. “That’s the year I was born!” exclaims Yvie, which correctly elicits Ru’s middle finger. Monét recalls that she lip-synced for her life the day Ru wore his facekini. The queens learn they will model in front of iconic designer Betsey Johnson on the runway. In the meantime, Jinkx is high on glue fumes as she and Yvie engage in a cackling contest. It’s a close call for whose is more irritating!
On runway day, Trinity is helping her sisters Shea and Monét with their sewing. That’s how quickly she finished her gown. Raja’s outfit looks like a dream catcher, but Trinity purrs that it’s more of a nightmare catcher. Trinity is considering a name change from Trinity the Tuck to Trinity the Truck because she has to “bulldoze these hoes.” Holy Trinity indeed!
On the main stage, judge Carson Kressley is wearing a blazer recycled from the Liberace Museum—“it smells like pianis-t.” The queens all look good on the runway and then Jaida. Jaida! Solid gold! That! I gagged. And if it’s true about “the higher your hair, the closer to God,” Jaida is in heaven’s penthouse! Carson takes note of Monét’s itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny Jackson Pollack facekini. It’s art, agrees Betsey.
Betsey is loving Yvie, who should model for her! Ru notes that Trinity is Mother Teresa with a whole lotta ass. My pal Terry thought she looked like a toilet roll cozy. Carson says that Trinity is classy and assy. Raja describes her look as Bed, Bath and Beyond Thunderdome. It’s disco-mystical!
I must take a moment and stan extra special guest judge Betsey Johnson. She is 79 (!) years old and enters the runway by dropping into a split. She had the time of her life. I live.
The top two winners are Jaida and Trinity, each of whom receives a Legendary Legend Star. Jaida now leads the race with three stars. They lip sync to “I Want Love” by Jessie J. It’s pretty close until Trinity slides into a mouth-to-ass move with Jaida. And then you pretty much know that Trinity wins. She bestows the plunger on Yvie, who saw it coming.
It really is a close competition and truly anybody’s to win. Blocking has taken on increasing strategic importance because we’re closing in on the grand finale. And I suspect there are some star-related twists ahead as well. Keep posted right here as we learn who will be anointed Queen of All Queens. #TeamRossMathews!
Photo credits: Paramount+
