After last week’s victory, a jubilant Jinkx Monsoon leads the queens into the werkroom. She is feeling the bomb diggity bomb bomb! She blocked Shea Couleé because she already had a star, leaving Monét X Change quite relieved.
As Jinkx predicts, the Shea is about to hit the fan! She is working that platinum plunger and the queens are scaredt (emphasis on the t!). She’s loving the anxiety and teases that the plunger has secrets! We’re all shook! Jaida says her strategy will be to look drop dead gorgeous, play Inspector Gadget and proceed with a non-plan. That’s my life in a nutshell!
Ru announces the mini-challenge: to play Hungman, which is the letter-guessing part of Wheel of Fortune. It’s a “Before and After” puzzle, like “What’s the t-shirt?” Monét picks a vowel, z, but Jinkx solves the puzzle: Vanna White Party. My puzzle would be Gay Desert Guide Dogs for the Blind.
The stage is now set for the maxi-challenge: the Realness of Fortune Ball. Each queen will prepare three looks: Vanna White Realness, showcasing classic game show hostess glamour; Before and After (think Diana Ross Matthews…or don’t!); and Real of Fortune Eleganza, with a look made from scratch. The queens also spin the wheel to determine their color palettes.
The queens are now busy at their sewing machines. There is a lot of skill on display, except for Jinkx. She doesn’t sew, so she braids and glues. Clearly, Raja is creating something spectacular in gold, as is Jaida Essence Hall in black. As Jaida says, she’s not here “to have [her] legacy shaken when it should be bakin’!” And she does like her bacon.
Everyone’s having a good old time creating their outfit except Jinkx, who’s “stuck in Gluetown, USA, population 1.” Fortunately, Trinity the Tuck offers to help her put her outfit together. This helpfulness could come back to help Trinity not get blocked again. Beware of nice people—they could be strategic!
Speaking of strategy, Monét and Trinity are enrolling new members in their secret alliance. These members must agree not to block each other. But once Jinkx, Shea and Jaida have opted out, it’s not much of a secret alliance anymore! Trinity is also figuring out that protecting Monét may not be helpful to her in the long run. Monét is playing a long game.
On the runway, first up is Vanna White Realness. And who better to welcome the vowel turners? Vanna White herself! Faced with all these twins, she buys a G and is G A G G E D! The second runway is Before and After. Jinkx enters as Whatever Became of Baby Jane Fonda; Shea is the Gold Tooth Fairy; Monét is Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth (purse first, of course); Jaida is a Bag Lady in Red; Raja is Olivia Newton-John Waters (but her pencil mustache is almost invisible); Yvie Oddly is Cardi B. Arthur; Vivienne is Princess Diana Ross; and Trinity is RuPaul Charles II. I think for Halloween I’ll be Brad Pitt Crew or Judge Judy Garland!
The third runway is Real of Fortune Eleganza. Of special note are Shea in a brilliant white turbaned wedding dress; Jaida in her impressive multi-textured black design; Raja in a stunning golden gown of pure perfection; Viv in a sleek, perfectly fitting blue silk gown; and Trinity in a masterfully crafted red cutout latex look. And Jinkx, Monét and Yvie were also well turnt out. It wasn’t all seamless, but I’ll give it three snaps!
The judges’ critiques seem to favor Jaida, Raja, maybe Shea and perhaps Viv, but Carson Kressley notes that Trinity “kept it wheel.” Michelle Visage wants to know why Trinity didn’t choose RuPaul Charles Nelson Reilly over Charles II. Ru notes that RuPaul Charles Manson was probably off the table.
The top two are Trinity and Jaida. I think Raja just missed out on account of her weak mustache. Both top queens receive a Legendary Legend Star and face off in a lipsync to “Green Light” by Beyoncé. Jaida’s hair-ography is on display as she twirls her ponytail. Trinity’s ass-ography is also on full display! That crack is wack.
The winner is the Essence of Beauty herself, Jaida Essence Hall, who must now bestow the platinum plunger upon a competitor. As she admits, “I don’t want to think too hard about strategy or I’ll confuse myself.” But she pretty much expectedly hands it to Jinkx, who has really been on a roll. She will be blocked next week from receiving a star.
So now five queens have one star apiece in the race to the crown. I predict lots of intrigue, cunning and top-drawer drag to come. Stay tuned and be careful before joining an alliance!
Photo credits: Paramount+