As we will recall from last week, the queens unanimously chose to send home Pandora Boxx over Trinity K. Bonet. Trinity, as she reminds us, is very sensitive and easily hurt. Emotional crisis averted!
The queens rejoice in being in the Top 5. Ra’Jah O’Hara clicks her feet together in joy, but as Eureka reminds her, “Don’t click them too hard or you’ll go home!” Ra’Jah reminds the queens, “This game can flip at any minute, so don’t sleep, b**ch!”
Back in the werkroom, Eureka bemoans the fact that she hasn’t won a challenge. The queens read Pandora’s parting lipstick message on the mirror and is praised for her great penmanship. “And that’s something she can take with her,” adds Ginger Minj. The shade of it all!
After a brief visit from Corny the Unicorn (seriously, wtf?), Ru tells the queens that in 9th grade he was voted best Afro and best dancer (“And things have been downhill since,” he humblebrags). The mini challenge is to come up with All Star Class Superlatives.
Kylie is voted most likely to steal your boyfriend, prettiest and most likely to have a sugar daddy (and she’s been one too!). Ginger is voted most likely to become President of the USA and Trinity the moodiest. Eureka is voted messiest, gassiest, bossiest and shadiest. The final cruel superlative: who’s most likely to go home next. No surprise: Eureka and Trinity. Ginger and Kylie win the mini challenge with the most points.
The maxi challenge is for the queens to visit Ru’s animated World of Wonder series “Drag Tots.” Each will transform herself into a magical live action character with a name, backstory, magical powers and look. It’s Ru’s ru-niverse and we just live in it.
Boos Trinity and Eureka are feeling vulnerable. Ra’Jah is up in her head because Ru doesn’t like her character name, Queen SeeMe. Ru helpfully prefers words that roll off your tongue, like mexicatessen (look for the inevitable Maxi Catessen on Drag Race Mexico), and besides, SeeMe sounds like semen. Kylie’s sewing machine is making noises. Troops are withdrawing from Afghanistan. Nerves are on edge.
Ra’Jah recounts a story where as a kid, he would watch his grandfather’s porn videos. The problem was rewinding them to the exact spot where they were! I had the same issue with my dad’s dog-eared porn paperbacks stashed in the pink bathroom. He had to be able to find his place or the jig would have been up!
Tonight’s guest judge is singer Charli XCX. The queens serve up their animated looks. Trinity is a fierce feline; Ginger is a southern belle (with a Parasol of Poise); Ra’Jah is ISeeYa Queen (which Ru just loves so much more than Queen SeeMe); Eureka is the villainous Alexandria McQueen; and Kylie is Miss Behave, a witch. Or, more properly, WITCH: Woman In Total Control of Herself. Merch alert!
Ra’Jah is chosen as the top All Star. The other four queens are all in the bottom and up for elimination. After an extended symphony of crying, pleading, begging, and accusations of possible stunts, the queens cast their votes.
The lip sync assassin is Kameron Michaels, who wins against a (deliberately?) lackluster Ra’Jah performing to “Boom Clap” by Charli XCX. Maybe she didn’t want to have to send a queen home. Kameron does the honors and the bottom queens send home messy, bossy, gassy and shady Eureka.
As Eureka packs up, Ru beams in to tell her to return to the main stage for the lip sync of her life. Eureka frantically dons her wig as she heads off for next week’s long-awaited “game within a game”. As Trinity so succinctly summarizes, “This is f**king bullsh*t.” We’ll find out just how true this is. So until next week, stay cool and slay another day!
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“If someone makes fun of you for being offbeat, you just tell them, “Baby, you can’t hear my song.” – Ra’Jah (as ISeeYa Queen).
“Some things are better left unsaid.” – Trinity, who doesn’t know what show she’s on.