Jasmine Kennedie is feeling bittersweet about sending Kerri Colby home last week. “She represented everything I wanted to be,” she weeps, feeling like she’s “done something wrong.” Or was she talking about Sum Ting Wong from Drag Race UK season one?
The queens offer their condrags to Daya Betty and compliment her competitiveness. Bosco suggests that last week’s safe queens would have put DeJa Skye in the bottom, to which she replies, “Safe queens’ opinions don’t matter.” Both Jasmine and DeJa need their first win.
Ru greets the Elite Eight. The mini-challenge is to photobomb some of the world’s most famous men. Daya gets Lil Nas X and Ru tells her to “emote through your face, not through your ass.” I happen to have a very emotional ass, thank you! After the photo shoot, Willow Pill is declared the winner for setting the interwebs on fire in her Mary Lou Retton look with Jake Gyllenhaal. I’d call that Brokeback Mountain meets Broke Ass Bitch!
Ru then promotes the upcoming DragCon in Los Angeles this May. (Yours truly will be there to report on all the action!) Ru’s favorite part of the event is the panels, so the maxi-challenge is to break into two groups to discuss the topic of menzses, as in menz. (Do NOT confuse with menses!) Each team will have a moderator and the discussion needs to be “both real and real entertainting.”
Willow, as mini-challenge winner, gets to choose her team: DeJa, Angeria Paris VanMichaels (Ru: “Damn, whatcha gonna do with all that ass?”), and Lady Camden. They’ll compete against Daya, Bosco, Jasmine and Jorgeous.
As they prepare their panels, Willow observes that “there is more to men than just a penis.” I had never considered this. Jorgeous asks a penetrating question: “What’s a moderator?” Best. Question. Ever. Willow’s team is going to ebb and flow, who Ru reminds us are two whores who live down the street. Ru tells Lady Camden that she “needs to look under the hood and see how the engine of masculinity works.” I’ll bet ebb and flow know!
On the main stage, the extra special guest judge is comedian Nicole Byer. Asked about their favorite things about men, Carson Kressley responds, “Yes” and Nicole responds, “Dick.” And the DragCon panels begin. Willow is on fire. She bemoans Masc4Masc online culture, citing Carson and Ross Mathews as prime examples. Angeria also laments the habit of hooking up, which is “like ordering pizza.” (I’ll take an XXL meat lover’s special!)
Back to Willow, she tells us she’s never been in a relationship or had sex because she only does anal. In drag, she looks like an old Victorian doll in whores’ makeup. And the poor thing, because of disabilities in her fingers and wrists, gives bad handjobs. All in all, it’s a strong panel.
The second panel is moderated by Bosco and titled Electric Boogaloo: Part Two. Bosco says that when she thinks of men, so many questions come to mind: “Why? For what? Honestly?” Drag, we’re told, is the antidote to toxic masculinity. Asked about their turn-ons, resident dick-dog Daya cites watching WWE wrestling; Jorgeous, at 5’2, likes guys who are way taller (Bosco: “You’re really asking for the world!”); and Bosco likes a hefty, furry guy, a “walking love seat.” That’s game, settee and match for Bosco.
On the runway, the category is Shoulderpads. DeJa’s look is a nod to Chanel and linebackers; Lady Camden is a suite Nutcracker; Willow is previewing 2079 menswear; Angeria is serving a houndstooth fantasy; Bosco is a neon Blade Runner; Jorgeous is a pompadour-able Selena in blue sequins; Jasmine is a vision in DayGlo; and Daya is reporting for duty as G.I. Hoe.
Bosco is declared this week’s winner; Willow, DeJa, Lady Camden and Daya are safe. That leaves Jasmine and Jorgeous in the bottom two. They lip sync to “Something’s Got a Hold on Me” by Etta James. Jasmine does a fabulous stop-action split that I think will give her the win. But I’m not emotionally ready to see Jorgeous leave, and neither is Ru, so we have a double save and both will return next week.
That means we’ll have eight queens for next week’s Snatch Game. Can’t wait! See you then!