The queens gather in front of the makeup mirror to see Orion Story’s parting lipstick message. Jorgeous attempts to read it but can’t because she dropped out of high school! I guess reading was NOT fundamental. Ru has told her she was born for drag, so she knows she has to “light a fire under her ass not to be in the bottom,” or as I heard it, “….ass….bottom.” Selective hearing.

As last week’s winner, Miss Bosco is “walking on sunshine,” but there are storm clouds brewing. Daya Betty snaps at DeJa Skye, who threatens to “beat her ass” if she yells at her again. Jasmine says that Daya Betty is becoming Bitter Betty. (It’s already my new favorite cocktail!) As Kerri Colby notes, rifts are developing, things are heating up, the room is getting smaller and “girls are getting picked off like old shaggy fruit.” No wait, that’s closing time at Barracks.

It’s a new day in the werkroom and Ru shares a confidence with the queens: Michelle Visage has been compulsively night shopping under the influence of Glambien and was “kicked out of the Acid Betty Ford Center.” Ru calls for the Pit Crew, pretty in pink and delivering carts of Glamazon Prime boxes. The maxi challenge is to create unforgettable looks out of their unconventional contents. Sadly, the Pit Crew’s packages are off limits.

A free-for-all ensues as Jasmine Kennedie hoards boxes and the queens pull out all sorts of dime store merch. Kerri exclaims, “It’s like Christmas gone wrong!” Poor wittle Willow Pill can’t open the boxes because of her bad fingers, so she is reduced to salvaging scraps from the other queens’ boxes.

Willow and Daya get into a scrap about who will wear a baby doll lewk. Maddy, who notes that she has no eye for design or sewing skills (translation: straight), intends to use a male blow up sex doll in her runway. Hey, you gotta start somewhere!

Carson Kressley and Ru visit the werkroom to check in on progress. Jorgeous, they note, has “top” issues (as in above the waist). Jorgeous!! Ru asks if Maddy’s pussy is on fire and he is mortified. Angeria, who is using non-stretch material, assures Ru that “she’s worked with things that don’t stretch” before. (Now there’s a top issue!) Daya asks for a critique and gets one: she’s too much like drag sister Crystal Methyd from season 12. She needs to de-crystallize.

Carson leaves the werkroom, berated by Ru for daring to use the f-word in “don’t f*ck it up.” “You always liked Ross more than me,” he cries. “And I’m not your real daughter!” As Ru reminds us, never have children.

On the main stage, the extra special guest judge is Miss Cookie herself, Taraji P. Henson. “What does the P stand for?” asks Ru. “Pay them bitches no mind.” (Now when you get hassled, just say “P.”) The runway theme is Glamazon Prime Time. Of note, Daya has a sock puppet named Daya Ria; Maddy Morphosis is attached to blow-up Daddy Morphosis; Willow looks like a “fisting accident gone wrong”; Jorgeous is channeling “Shaqueera”; and Kerry is living her “trantasy fantasy.”

Maddy and Daddy are savagely critiqued (“You’re hard to look at,” says Michelle Visage. “Daddy’s putting Maddy up for adoption.”) Jorgeous, who says “hello-tis” when greeted, sweetly thanks Angeria for providing her some badly needed fabric. Taraji commends Jorgeous on her hair acting. Carson tells Daya that her Greek goddess lewk out of Xanadu is hindered by a headpiece out of Xanadon’t.

In a welcome (to me) surprise, Jorgeous wins the challenge. Ru and I are total stans. Maddy and Jasmine Kennedie are in the bottom two. They perform to Beyoncé’s “Suga Mama” and Jasmine slays Maddy (as she previously told her she would). Maddy occupied an interesting space as a straight cishet man in a queer world. It’s notable that he faces many of the same prejudices and risks that a queer person might. I think he’s quite courageous to follow his own path. I commend Ru for including him this season!

Until next week, have a swell Valentine’s Day, enjoy the fabulous weather and paint the town red!