Last week’s six surviving queens return to the werkroom. As Bosco notes, Orion Story was a giant sweetheart and you saw her heart break on the stage. Mine sure did!  June Jambalaya is relieved and says she still got some brewing to do. What’s the sweet tea?

The next platoon of seven queens make their werkroom entrance. First we meet Jorgeous.  Shes the dancing queen of Texas. She’s also a “spicy Latina goddess—hella chooky and hella bad bitch.” (Today’s vocabulary word:  chooky.)  And yes, she’s a snack! 

Next up is DeJa Skye, a pastel princess who asks us to “embrace the curve”. She hails from Fresno (which I do NOT believe is the armpit of California). The third queen to enter is Jasmine Kennedie, the “ditzy doll of New York City” and another dancing queen. Jorgeous is quickly feeling the heat!

We then meet Maddy Morphosis, who’s on fire in a Guy Fieri-inspired look that includes a hamburger clutch. The queens exclaim, “She’s flame broiled!  She’s a burger queen!” Her drag is “stupid in a good way” and she is Drag Race’s first cisgender heterosexual (cishet) queen.  That’s cis-het, not cishay! 

She is followed by Angeria Paris VanMicheals, “a southern belle from the A T L.” She’s “the most glamorous country bumpkin [we’ll] ever meet,” she tells us. Next to enter is Lady Camden, “America’s little Spice Girl” (or Old Spice, as Maddy non-gayly  purrs). She’s a “90s pop princess fantasy” from Sacramento, representing Northern California with DeJa.

Finally, we meet Daya Betty, a “mid-Missouri grunge punk rock girl,” both “a rockstar and the rockstar’s gf shoved together with a safety pin.” She’s a midwesterner like Maddy and is related to my fave crafty queen, Crystal Methyd, so expect serious quirk. 

The mini-challenge is for the queens to be photographed in a giant bowl of orange TicTacs. (The first bowl we see is too small for Ru, so he throws a Joan Crawford-sized fit.) A major discovery is made when Maddy finds Santino’s long-lost hat buried in the bowl. And this after we see Merle Ginsberg’s pic on a milk carton last week! Oh the shade. The winner of the challenge is Angeria. 

Once again, the maxi-challenge is to perform in the Courage, Nerve and Talent show (the CNTs — all that’s missing is U). In the werkroom, the queens are in boy drag. Important questions are asked:  who’s trade? Who’s a gold star gay? Well, who isn’t a gold star gay is Maddy Morphosis, whose cishet identity is unknown to all the other queens except Daya Betty. Questions are raised, minds are changed, acceptance ensues. It’s like a modern Afterschool Special: Maddy’s Just Different.

Extra special guest judge Alicia Keys appears in the Magic Mirror to exhort the queens to not hold back  and to “go smash the whole situation” (or “go cut a sitch,” as I might have said). As we prepare for the CNTs, style superstar and judge Carson Kressley explains what CNT really means:  Carson Never Tops. The Week Two queens opt almost exclusively for lip sync and dance numbers. The exceptions are Maddy, who plays the electric guitar (with her tongue) and DeJa Skye, who tries to deliver comedy as a cheerleading coach but no one’s there to accept it. 

On the runway, the theme is Sickening Signature Drag. Favorite lines:  “She’s Gorge Washington!  She’s Gorge W. Bush!” (about Jasmine Kennedie); “Chin up!” “She’s Guillo-tina Turner!” (about Maddy, who’s carrying her Marie Antoinette head in her hands); “She pea-cock blocked me!” (about Lady Camden in full feather). 

In the judges’ critiques, Carson tells Maddy she can “hold her head up high.” Ru adds that he might have been more impressed if Maddy had played the guitar with her penis, not her tongue (at which point Drag Race is briefly cancelled). Carson described her guitar lewk as “St. John for H&R Block.”  I think Maddy is getting a crash course in How To Be Gay. 

The winner of the CNTs is Angeria Paris VanMicheals. Lady Camden, Jasmine, Jorgeous and Maddy are all safe, leaving Daya Betty and DeJa Skye to lip sync for their lives to Alicia Key’s “Falling.” DeJa aces it, sending a disappointed Daya home. 

Next week, the two sets of six queens converge to compete against each other. Who’s your stan? Who’s the trade of the season?  Does California have an armpit?  See you next week!