After last week’s gold bar salvation for Bosco, the queens return to a mirror with no departing lipstick message. As DeJa Skye notes, this is bad for everyone because “immunity is out the door.” Get that girl a booster shot!
Jorgeous ru-fully asks, “What else is it going to take to get these bitches out of here?” (Or did the bartender at Barracks say that at closing time?) Bosco adds, “Literally every person in this building told me to go home and I didn’t.” (Ok, that was me.)
It’s a new day in the werkroom. Daya Betty is shook that the finale is approaching. “I’m edging,” she spurts. Ru introduces a special guest: an advertiser! It’s Norvina, president of beauty brand Anastasia of Beverly Hills. (Who next? The Nasty Pigs guys?) My beauty brand runs more to Tom of Finland!
The mini challenge is to paint the mugs of Ru and Dolly Parton using Norvina’s new color palette. The images are taken from a mural in Asheville, NC. The queens are divided into two teams: Team Ru (DeJa, Jorgeous and Angeria) will paint a large rendering of his face; Team Dolly ((Willow, Bosco, Lady Camden and Daya) will do her. Paint rollers and brushes in hand, they get to werk. Ru’s mug is messy; Bosco says the nose “looks like if a hot dog had a butt.” Ru observes that they got his wooden teeth right Team Dolly wins.
The maxi challenge is an old-fashioned roast of “America’s Sweetheart,” the always fabulous Ross Mathews. “Ross is one of my favorite people on the planet,” exclaims Ru. “Your job is to rip her to shreds.” Team Dolly will assign the order of the roast. Jorgeous smells trouble because he can’t write jokes. “I’m a pendeja,” he admits, which is along the lines of imbécil, idiota and estúpido. But he’s my man and I love him so!
The ordering process is drama-free, with Bosco and Lady Camden offering to take the tough first and last slots respectively. The queens test some bad jokes in the werkroom and then rehearse them in front of comedy coaches Michelle Visage and guest judge Dulcé Sloan. Angeria, Lady Camden and Daya make them laugh. Bosco and Willow are not that funny, while DeJa and Jorgeous are weak.
On the main stage, Ross tells us he likes his roast “well done.” With that, live from Television City in Sylmar, the roast begins. Bosco slays out of the gate (“Ross is not a top; he’s a blouse.”) Jorgeous is completely rattled but at least delivers some good energy. Willow says that Ross is a “handsome lesbian.” Angeria allows that Ross would be an awesome lip sync assassin because “he’s no stranger to bottoming weekly.”
Finishing up, Daya takes too long to tell a joke (Willow: “So not only was it not funny, you also wasted my time.”). DeJa bombs, flatly rejecting the notes provided in the rehearsal. Lady Camden has an extended joke about shouting into Ross’ hole and hearing an echo, echo, echo. As my friend Tom said, jokes were “rare” rather than “well done.”
On the runway, the category is Tutu Much. Bosco is a buzzsaw ballerina; Jorgeous goes butch in “Westside Whory”; and Willow gives us Donatella, Cruella and Bjork with ginormous Amanda Lepore lips. Angeria wears a lime green tutu; Daya, in 11 inch heels, towers at 7’2 (Michelle: “That is what I call a tutu by four four”); DeJa’s Candyland pastel prom dress is not a tutu; and Lady Camden slays in a beaded dream tutu. Ru says she’s “tutu legit tutu quit.”
The judges praise Bosco’s “cutting edge look” (she has a blade in her head) and Ru praises Willow with having her favorite look of the evening. Bosco is declared the winner, notable because she would have gone home last week if not for the gold candy bar. Lady Camden, Willow and Angeria are safe. Ru tells Jorgeous, DeJa and Daya that they are all up for elimination; one will shantay and two will sashay away. Ru’s finally thinning the herd after all those non-eliminations!
The three lip sync to “Good 4 U” by Olivia Rodrigo, not a song suitable to Jorgeous’ showgirl energy. Daya wins, sending DeJa and Jorgeous packing. Both seem relieved, perhaps sensing that their time had come. And they were charming in their sweet sisterhood. It was RuPaul’s Best Friends Race for a moment!
So we now have our top five: Angeria, Bosco, Daya, Lady Camden and Willow. Who will make it to the Final Four? Who will win a year’s worth of cosmetics from Anastasia of Beverly Hills and a cash prize of $100,000 dolas? Stay tuned!